Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Mother, my amma!!

The whole purpose of living the life is bringing a smile on others face.  No matter what you are going through, the difficulties, the day to day chaos, numerous emotions but when you get in before the world, when you face it, all you want to spread and share is, Happiness..  When I was a child, I used to get beaten up all the time by my mom.  She used to whoop me with whatever she gets hold of - knife, chappathi roller, utensil, broom, stick, shoes, canes and if nothing is around then even using her hands.  In these modern days, she would get into a lot of trouble for child abuse or whatever you want to call it.  I never hated her for that, I never became angry with her because of one reason, love.  The love she had towards me is something only a mother can provide.  

There were numerous points in life where I saw her struggle dealing with a lot of day to day chores but she always had that special love for me and my brother.  She struggled to adjust the finances when my father was away for work. The paycheck which my father drew at that time was not even close to manage our expenses - his rent & expense living in a far away city, our study expenses and the scary thought of surviving the entire month.  Still she somehow managed to adjust the money here and there just to take care of us.  She ignored the comments of hatred which came from within the family, friends and neighbors.  Her only focus was to make sure we had everything.  The care that never went away till date.  I always hated to see a tear in her eyes and most of the earlier life, I was helpless and didn't have an option to do something for her.  I have seen times where she cried because she didn't have a good saree or ornament to wear (Yes, this may not be a big deal for most of the people around but for a village girl who struggled throughout her life, for someone who lost her father at the age of 7, these small things were definitely a big deal).  She could've chosen to cut some money out of family expenses and others to get a new saree or ornament.  Why didn't she do it?  That's the beauty of mother, that's the sign of a beautiful soul.

When I got my job, my only intention was to keep her happy.  Whenever she asked for something, I went the extra mile to get it for her.   If someone ask me what is the best gift I ever gave to someone, I would recall the gold chain which I gave to her 4 months into my job (she doesn't know how I scrambled to get that money, but again, it doesn't matter because my intention was to bring a smile on her face, to show her good times lie ahead of her).  It is for the same reason, I was really proud when I built my own home - All I had in my mind was achieving my mother's dream, an own home..

I am happy to carry that torch which my mom passed to me.  When I meet someone, even if its a stranger, I try to share good things.  I don't talk about my past, I don't talk about what is going wrong with my life but I try to smile, bring the positive energy outside.  Best part of giving this part of yourself to this strange world is that it gets back to you in different ways.  I don't have any complaints, I don't curse anyone, I don't wish bad things to happen to anyone.  I will keep walking away holding the torch, keeping my head held high because for someone whose only intention was to bring a smile on others, good times lie ahead..

Though my days continue to be rough, I am excited about my upcoming travel to India, the excitement around meeting my parents again, especially my mother, the excitement around giving her a hug, to sit in that kitchen listening to her stories while she prepare some amazing food... something only a mother can provide..

1 comment:

  1. you know it you feel it its extreme but u still don't provide the respect n nurture it needs - aren't we all guilty - I SURE AM..

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