Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Spread joy, happiness and smile... expect nothing in return..

After my engineering, when I joined the Indian IT giant - all I had ahead was a green patch, something I was looking forward to, a future to look forward to.  But after 7 years, multiple countries and two relationships later, I stand here totally stressed out and wondering what is going on around me.  I am pretty sure I am not the perfect one, but I gave my best in both the relationships that I had since I started working, still I was asked to walk away in both instances. really? Did I deserve it?  I don't know..

Did I do something wrong?  No one told me anything.  Did someone ask what my feelings are?  Did someone wanted to know about my thoughts, at the very least made a moderate attempt to walk in my shoes?  I don't think so.  I was just told "Its time, just walk away".   There must be a reward waiting for me somewhere down the line.  Even though my every move was towards making other person happy, I was disappointed every time.   Falling down in the Dallas airport, another fall and gasping inside the flight after a horrendous run between terminals in Dallas, a narrow escape from death after sleeping off during driving etc maybe all worthless efforts.  Maybe all the attempts to bring a smile on that face was worthless.  I should say I'm disappointed about all this.

I have decided to forgive one and all, there is no point carrying the bag of anger, bag of hatred, I never had one and never wanted to have one!  That is the single reason why I made hundreds of friends wherever I went!

Still, when I close my eyes I see only your face.  It must be the magic of love which my "Monkey mind" cannot handle, that magic you spelled on me from day 1.  I will still go around and spread joy to the beautiful world around me. Bring a smile on the faces of many that I come across.  That randomness, attitude I grew up with, that will be my focus going forward!

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